


P3P NG+: Forward

by 0130 (moone)



Category: Persona 3
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-07-26 00:21:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7552909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moone/pseuds/0130
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Back then, I decided that I would never give up hope again. Forward. I must keep walking forward, no matter how many times I fall.</p><p>The adventures of Minako Arisato in New Game+.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome Back

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! So this is the first time that I've ever done this. I'm not exactly a writer to begin with so I'm not very confident about it, but my latest obsession with P3P and the discovery of so many lovely, amazing fan fictions by everyone here inspired me to want to give writing somewhat of a shot myself. 
> 
> Sorry, it's pretty generic right now (currently only covering the beginning of the game), feels sort of rushed, is completely self indulgent, and I don't know if I can keep it up or if it is worthwhile to at all. Chapters are also short and everything has incredibly uncreative titles! 
> 
> But to any kind enough to have taken the time to view or read this, I thank you very much! Have a great day everyone!

_Clank, clack, click._

Ugg... what is that blasted noise?

I let out a groan as I wearily open my eyes for what felt like the first time after a long sleep. I blink. Twice. Three times. Again, until I can finally make out my surroundings.

Empty seats litter the area in rows. The scenery whizzes by through the window to my right. It is hard to discern much of anything because of the darkness.

What happened to me? Where am I?

As I try to sort through my empty thoughts, I stare blankly out the window, up at the nearly full moon.

A full moon... As I sat gawking at it, something fluttered into view out of the corner of my eye. A vibrant, blue butterfly that could be spotted instantly, even in the encompassing darkness. What the...?

Argh!?! I grasp my head in my arms as I begin shaking violently as the memories of the past year flood back to me. The full moon, the Dark Hour, Personas, S.E.E.S., Nyx, the Great Seal, Ryoji...

"Iwatodai.  
This is the final train bound for Tatsumi Port Island.  
Please take care to board before our departure."

The shaking subsides and I let out a deep breath. Twice. Three times. Again, as I attempt to recollect myself. I finally release my head from the iron grip of my hands and very gradually sit up in my seat.

I hold onto the seat for support as I unsteadily rise to my feet. I grab my familiar, red duffel bag from the seat next to mine and head square towards the doors of the train, looking straight ahead, eyes never once wandering.

As I make it out of the station, I quickly stop in my tracks. Gently pulling my phone from my pocket, I glance nervously at the screen.

Monday, April 6, 2009, 11:59 p.m.

My breath catches in my throat and a stinging sensation gnaws at my eyelids. I close my eyes to ward the feeling off and in preparation for my worst fears.

 _Oh I will run..._  
_Burning all regret and dread_  
 _And I will face the sun_  
 _With the pride of the --_

The music cuts out. My breath catches in my throat and it takes every ounce of strength I have to keep myself from dropping to my knees.

I stood in silence, my eyes closed so tight that I can see spots, my hands clenched so strong that my knuckles turn white and my finger nails dig into my palms, and biting my lower lip so hard that I can soon taste the all too familiar metallic of my blood.

After what feels like an eternity, I finally relax my body and open my eyes to take in the scene that I know lies ahead of me. A sickly green light, coffins that litter the streets devoid of life, blood that seeps out of the walls and pools unnaturally on the dark ground, and an eerily yellow moon that is too enormous for the sky it inhabits - the Dark Hour.

Unbelievable. I shake my head. Am I dreaming? In some kind of nightmare? Can that even happen being the Great Seal?

There are an overwhelming number of questions and thoughts swirling around in my clouded head. I take in a deep breath and slowly let it out. No matter what, standing around in the middle of the street will get me nowhere. The only direction left to go is forward. Only by moving forward will I be able discern anything about this situation. At least, that's what I try to convince myself of.

Unlike one year ago, I do not reach for the hastily drawn map folded surprisingly neatly in my bag. I do not get lost wandering the coffin strewn streets as I search desperately for the building I would call my sanctuary. Instead, I follow the winding pathways meticulously as I make my way to the looming dorm building that houses the members of S.E.E.S.

I halt as I reach the front doors. What should I do? What do I do if this really is the same as one year ago? What do I do when I open the door and see his face? What do I do when he disappears and two of my precious friends burst from the dark hallways? Why am I even here in the first place!?

Forward. That is the only way. I very slowly lift my hand and place it onto the cold doorknob of the dorm entrance. Hesitantly, I turn it and step forward into the confines of the lounge room. Eyes wide as a deer in headlights, I stare directly, unmoving, at the darkness where I know he resides.

"Welcome. You're late. I've been waiting a long time."


	2. Making the Choice

I stand deathly still as I feel all of the blood drain out of my face. "Pharos..." the whimper barely escapes my mouth. Pharos, Ryoji, my dearest, my other half, stands once again before my very eyes. At this confirmation, it's almost too much to take in. I feel utterly lost and confused and like my brain is going to explode at any minute.

As I continue to stare blankly at the known little boy with eyes as blue as the sea and black and white striped pajamas that are a size too big for his slender, pale form, while only slightly, he reacts to the weight that that single word, just barely having escaped my lips, carries. His glowing eyes widen very slightly and his next words were halted as his mouth remained open for just a bit longer than normal.

These subtle actions, only noticeable from the unbreakable bond that the two of us had created, brought about an impossible feeling of hope deep in my chest. He did not remain phased for long, however. Rather than forming new, unpracticed words on his thin lips, he followed his old script perfectly as he held out the single sheet of paper that would shape my destiny.

"If you want to proceed, then please sign here. It's a contract.  
There's no need to be scared.  
It only binds you to accepting full responsibility for your actions."

I thought that I already had accepted full responsibility for my actions. Was that not the reason for leaving my important people behind to become the Seal? I took the responsibility placed upon my shoulders clearly and seriously. But what ended up becoming of all of the hardships, all of the hurdles that each one of us had to topple to reach the top and the imminent end? I snap out of my reverie as I hear an unexpected sound.

"Umm..." The boy mumbles as he looks up at me expectantly, taking a step forward and extending his burdened hand ever further.

I bite my lip and hesitantly, shakily reach out my own hand to grab the thin slip of paper, our fingers just barely brushing one another. I look down at the paper now held in my own cold hands. My eyes burn holes through the contract as I discern that single line that has followed me throughout my journey. It is a line that I know so well by this point that I can recite it in my sleep.

"I chooseth this fate of mine own free will."

My feelings for this declaration have evolved significantly over the past year. When I first promised myself to the ideal, I thought nothing of the real responsibility that it carried. Although a weird way of going about it, it was simply a requirement to enter the dorm. I was a responsible girl and there was nothing overtly offensive about the statement. It was not until the discovery of the Velvet Room, Personas, and our daunting task that the true meaning became revealed. But just when I thought that I had it all figured out and the end of our story had been reached, here I stand once again, confronted by this so-called choice.

"It's okay," the boy reassures, "you'll be okay." He pauses, then quietly adds, "I'll keep you safe."

I finally look up from my glaring contest with the contract as these unfamiliar, practically unbelievable words reach my ears. I smile for the first time since I woke up. I smile genuinely for the first time since that final night in December. It lifts some of the tremendous darkness shrouding my heavy heart.

He's too cute. How did I not notice it from the beginning? Whatever consequences occur from signing my life away for the second time couldn't compare to disappointing someone so pure and honest as the boy standing in front of me.

Over-exaggerations aside, it is not just about him. This is the choice that I _want_ to make. Back then, I decided that I would never give up hope again. Forward. I must keep walking forward, no matter how many times I fall. Enough with feeling so sorry for myself.

With renewed determination and fire in my burning eyes, I confidently sign my name in the once intimidating blank space underneath the fateful words.

 _Minako_ _Arisato_.

While not quite as delicate, the name is written much more boldly and surely than the first time.

I smile as I return the paper to the boy's awaiting hands.

His typical, characteristic grin, as wide as the full moon that he always precedes, returns to his face as he accepts it.

"Very well...  
Time is something no one can escape. It delivers us all to the same end.  
Wishing won't make it go away.  
And so it begins..."

Although knowing the futility of the action, I reach my hand out towards him, mouthing the familiar names on my lonely lips.

But, as expected, he simply disappears, melding with the shadows brought out by the Dark Hour.

I remain planted in my spot, entranced by his words, my questions, and the next situation at hand.

"...Who's there!?"


	3. Nice to Meet? You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww man, still being boring and following more of the game prologue. Hopefully it won't be too much longer before I can start taking it a different direction. This story is looking like it's going to turn out pretty long though. I hope the ride to the end will be alright!

Right on queue, the brunette in the signature, light pink sweater calls out across the hallway.

She reveals herself, taking an uneasy step out of the darkness of the hall. Clutched tightly in her shaking hands is the slender, silver form of her Evoker.

She mumbles her words of confusion at my presence as I stare intently, a look full of desire at the makeshift gun. How long has it been since my own fingers were wrapped around that cold trigger? How long has it been since I felt the pleasurable exhilaration brought about by releasing it, the barrel pressed lightly against my welcoming skull?

I snap my eyes away from the gun as a sense of guilt wells up from the pit of my stomach. When did my Personas and the heat of battle become more important than my friends? While I may not have agreed with everything the pink sweatered girl would say, she became one of my closest friends here. The thought that I neglected her presence in favor of a mere object is unsettling.

I don't even know how long it's been since I've last seen my friends. It could have been a million years. Or it could have been a single day. Honestly, it feels like both... and neither. What a strange feeling.

As the girl and I peer blankly at one another, fumbling through our own thoughts, the older girl with both hair and eyes an even darker, richer fire than my own makes an entrance behind the former.

"Wait!" She calls out, with that air of strength and confidence that rings true in her every word.

When we turn to face her, the lights flicker back on and my MP3 resumes to finish the final word of the song, officially signaling the end of the forsaken hour.

"I didn't think you'd arrive so late.  
My name is Mitsuru Kirijo. I'm one of the students who live in this dorm."

After Mitsuru's very brief introduction and without leaving me any room to respond, the two girls move on to talking about me and the circumstances in the dorm, as if I weren't standing just five feet away.

I love my friends with all of my heart, but I noticed that this sort of thing could happen a lot. Aside from barking out orders in battle and when being asked directly for my opinion or advice, it could be hard getting a word in to say. Conversations would often be one-sided. Although, honestly it suited my taste to not have to reveal my hidden self too often.

"Hey, are you alright?" Yukari nudges, startling me back into reality.

Just because I've lived this day before, it doesn't mean I should abandon and ignore it for my own thoughts right now. That needs to wait until later. I nod and adorn my practiced, cheery smile.

"Sorry about that. It's nice to meet you."

The lie sickens me. It hurts far more than I had expected. The pain soon fades into sudden horror as the realization finally hits me. If this experience is the reality that means that my friends don't know me anymore. Nobody knows me. Nobody knows the darkness that awaits our world in the future. Only me. That's a very lonely thought...

"Uh, y-yeah. Nice to meet you too..." the brunette awkwardly stumbles out.

She seems surprised at my completely normal, easygoing response that ignored any mention of the weird happenings of the past hour. Right now she must think that I'm crazy. Maybe that assumption is more correct than she could ever have imagined.

Mitsuru interrupts our little greeting, announcing the lateness of the night and where I'll find my room. Obviously unaware of my prior knowledge, Yukari once again volunteers to be my guide.

We trudge our way up those three flights of stairs, which I must have traveled a thousand times already, in a somewhat strained silence. Yukari has got to be the absolute worst at hiding secrets. Her stress was obvious in her stiff gate, her awkward atmosphere, her hesitance in speaking, and the suspicious glances she was giving me every so often. To make it even worse, she would always manage to bring up the exact topic she was supposed to be avoiding.

"This is it...  
Pretty easy to remember, huh? ...Since it's right at the end of the hall.  
So, any questions?"

I peer both fondly and with hesitance at the familiar wooden door. As for questions, not a single one of mine would be answerable by this girl. Now that I think about it, my question the first time around about the once mysterious boy went unanswered as well.

"I think I'm alright, thanks."

She nods. "Um... Can I ask you something? On your way here from the station, was everything okay?"

It's funny the way she asks that. Of course things weren't normal. In fact, I'm even more broken than before. But it was obvious that she didn't truly want to talk about it right then. Just as before, I gave her my reassurances and we parted ways with a good night.

Now left to my own devices, I slowly, gently make the steps into my room. Unsurprisingly, aside from missing the few additional knick-knacks that I had acquired through my friends, it looked exactly the same as I had left it. Glancing around the room, I can visualize all of the memories that had taken place in this one space. I can feel all of those heart-wrenching emotions of friendship, love, and loneliness.

I collapse rather ungracefully onto the snug, pink bed. Finally, a moment to think. So many questions that I can't answer, so many thoughts that I can't control, and so many feelings that cannot be contained swell within me.

What is the last thing that I can remember? Graduation day and losing myself to finally take my place as the Great Seal.

So why am I here, reliving the time from one year ago? No idea.

How do I handle things if this is exactly the same? We defeated Nyx. We saved the world. Should my actions be the same as before? What would happen if I try to change events? What would happen if I try to save the dear people that were sacrificed in our plight?

Soon, it all becomes too much for me to bear. The mental stress and fatigue take over and I can't stop myself from bursting into warm tears that stream down my cool cheeks. Eventually, a merciful sleep wraps its arms around my shaking, curled up form.

That night, I dreamt of an unusually warm lap, stifling whiteness, and an unreachable, yellow scarf.


	4. Taking School by Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really tried telling her it was boring and that we need to move on with the actual story (you'll never get to see Ryoji or other important people again if you keep this up, I warned), but Minako was still insistent on talking about her morning and all the tiny details. *sigh* What am I going to do with her... Anyway, thank you very much for reading, commenting, kudos, bookmarking, and all!! I really appreciate it and it makes my day. I hope everyone has a great day too!

_B... Be... Bee... Beep... BEEP! BEEP!_

My hand slams down unforgivingly on the phone that was dutifully blaring the alarm. I mumble groggily as I systematically blink open my eyes and grudgingly push myself into a sitting position. A faint light filters through the window and the sweet song of birds carries softly through the air.

Morning. No matter how hard I try to pretend, I am just not a morning person. I don't suppose yesterday was just a dream either, I muse.

I reach out to now gingerly grab my poorly handled phone. I really need to treat the poor thing better if I don't want it to break...

I inhale a single deep breath before taking in the screen with squinted eyes, as if that would change the year that was displayed in large, glaring numbers.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009.

Of course not. I catch myself just before I was about to let out a sigh. Instead, I raise my hands to my face and lightly slap my cheeks. I can't allow myself to get so depressed. I have to be strong. Forward is where I go. Even when _they_ died, even when _he_ left, even when there was nothing but loneliness and despair encompassing us all, we kept going.

Just take things one day at a time. Today is my first day of school at Gekkoukan High... For the second time. No matter how annoying the prying stares and whispered gossiping may be, it certainly can't compare at all to those days. While it's obvious, it is still somewhat of a reassurance.

I slide off of the bed and busy myself around the room, performing the usual morning routines and preparing for the school day. It was generally not a very long process. Being the ever-so diligent student that I once was, I'd already organized all of my school materials before coming here. As for my uniform (why on earth did I wear it to come here again?), which I had neglected to switch out of in my flurry of confusion and exhaustion, the small wrinkles that refuse to be brushed out will have to do for today.

I turn to the mirror and admire my sorry state. The wrinkles are a bit more noticeable than I was hoping. My bow is crooked. My hair is sticking up in a million directions. The pins in my hair somehow look more like a strange, dying animal than XXII. And lastly, my eyes glint dully, empty, and a frown is plastered on my face.

First day of school, here I come! I try to repair my image as neatly as possible when I hear the expected sound from the door.

_Knock, knock, knock!_

"It's Yukari. Are you awake?"

She wastes no time waiting for a response and barges into the room.

"Good morning. Did you sleep o -- whoa what happened with you?"

I give a reserved chuckle and put on a crooked smile. "I'm a rough sleeper?" I offer.

"Pft... It looks more like you just walked out of a thunder storm. You're supposed to take off your uniform before you sleep, you know."

"I was trying to fix it when _somebody_  didn't wait for my response, thank you very much."

She sighs. "Give me your brush, let me help you. You can't go out like this and Mitsuru-senpai asked me to take you to school."

Even when her words are harsh, Yukari still always willing offers to help out. I give her a grateful smile and do as she said. She instantly goes to work, and in an impressively short time, a satisfied grin shone on her face.

"This'll have to do for now. Let's go."

We left the dorm and took the very same route as always to Gekkoukan. We chit-chatted along the way with Yukari giving me a brief overview of the city as we passed, acting as if we hadn't known each other, confided in each other, or fought side by side each other for an entire year of heart wrenching sadness and jubilant fun. No. Now we were merely acquaintances, dorm mates. Yukari is a brave member of S.E.E.S., struggling to save the world from its own destruction. I am the unlucky fool who got placed in the wrong dorm room.

"Hey, what's the matter? We're here. Welcome to Gekkoukan High! You're gonna love it here! So don't look so dreary."

I lift my eyes off of the ground that I had apparently been boring gloomy holes into. Ahead of us lies Gekkoukan High School, its usual glittering, spotless, hulking self. Even though it's got to have some of the strangest people alive and quite the dark history, Yukari is right. I really did love it here. It would have been amazing if we could all have been here for our third year together...

After entering the school building and Yukari prompting me to promise not to squeal about last night, I was let loose to find my way on my own.

Ms. Toriumi was inevitably waiting for me in the faculty office, a location which I can now place in an instant. Back on my real first day here, due to my demanding curiosity and poor sense of direction, I ended up spending a lot of time aimlessly meandering the hallways in exploration and in search of the office. It didn't seem to matter though. For better or worse, I still made it on time to the principal's simply _engaging_ speech... Which I am going to be forced to suffer through yet again.

Knowing of my current abundance of spare time, I decide that I might as well adventure as I did the last time. It's strange though, knowing what I do now. So many familiar faces emerge around every corner. So many friends made. So many problems acknowledged and solved. So many unbreakable bonds that were so finely forged... Or so I thought.

My final stop before the inevitable office introduction is the rooftop. The moment I step from the entranceway, I can feel the crisp breeze caress my cheeks and cause my ponytail to sway against my exposed neck. Brilliant, sparkling blues shine from both above and below, the bustling city of Iwatodai the only thing stopping the two from melding together. There is a small handful of students scattered about the area, all too absorbed in their own businesses to notice my intrusion.

My chest suddenly feels impossibly tight and my eyes begin to heat up. I bite my lip _hard_ in an attempt to halt the process that I know would follow.

The memories of _him_. The memories of _her_ and our final struggle. The impossible dream of a future with _all_ of us together, happy, smiling once again. It's too much for me to bear.

I sprint back through the door that I had just entered and collapse halfway down the flight of stairs. My head falls to my needy hands and my breathing is heavy and ragged.

After a few minutes of nothing but a loud beating in my head and never enough air, I rise to my feet and finish the long walk down the stairs, across hallways, through doors, more stairs, ignoring every old friend who no longer knows I exist, until finally reaching the faculty office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I later realized that Minako has an actual alarm clock to use rather than just her phone, whoops.


	5. Coincidence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ick this chapter... Too much game dialogue and kinda a mess. I ended up cutting the chapter sooner than I had originally wanted too. Minako's also a mess right now. So many ups and downs. It's really worrisome. But she'll be getting things figured out more soon and hopefully I'll be able to begin to diverge from the game more soon as well. And thank you to all as always!

I freeze for an instant in front of the door, in an attempt to steel myself for the sting that the unprepared teacher would unknowingly deliver. Before too many people are given the chance to stare, I slide open the door and take an uncomfortable step into the office.

Ms. Toriumi, dressed in her typical pink pantsuit and still looking oddly like Yukari, stops whatever work she had been attending to around the room as she notices my entrance. She gives me a knowing look.

"Oh, are you the new student?  
11th grade, correct?"

I nod in confirmation as she rustles through some papers in a file. Papers about me and my "lonely" past. Information and feelings that I have worked so hard to remain bottled up within myself since that fateful day.

"Wow, you've lived in a lot of different places..."

Places that never once felt like home. Places where I was merely a pathetic burden that people either felt sorry for or obligated to attend to. But that didn't stop them from continuing to shuffle me around once they got sick of it. I'm not complaining though. I was never actually alone. Whether I was consciously aware of it or not, _he_ was always there with me. That single presence of warmth inside of me was, and still is, a constant friend and pinnacle of strength.

"Let's see... In 1999... That was what, ten years ago? Your parents --" She gasps.

She may as well have just finished the sentence. Yes, they died. In a "freak accident". And my brother and I... Even though I had prepared myself, the pain still ran deep.

The teacher looks at me with those eyes full of pity that had become so typical. But she was honest. She did care. In spite of her quirks, she was definitely one of the better teachers at Gekkoukan, one that I could respect.

"I'm sorry... I've been so busy, I didn't have time to read this beforehand.  
I'm Ms. Toriumi, I teach Composition. Welcome to our school."

With the usual ease, I don the warm, friendly smile that hides all weakness.

"Nice to meet you!"

She returns a smile in response and praises my supposed enthusiasm. Unfortunately, next comes the long awaited Welcoming Ceremony which even the teachers can't stand. She directs me to the dreaded auditorium, where the whole school is packed in as tight as a can of sardines, with looks of utter boredom already plaguing the rows of students.

The Principle drones on and on in his slow, old, monotone voice as he lectures about the coming year. There's far more chatting and gossiping occurring than actual listening in the building. And as expected, most of the gossiping revolves around the "mysterious new transfer student".

Although the day felt as if it would never end, by some miracle it finally did. I definitely did not manage to escape the myriad of curious stares and constant questioning by my classmates at every available moment, but for now, there was only one nosy student left to call out to me.

"'Sup, dude!?"

My _ol' pal_ Junpei.

I can't help smiling at his call. Even though we began with somewhat of a rough start, he truly became my best friend. It was always fun and smiles whenever we could hang out together and I was able to let myself go with him more than any of the others.

"Haha, that's a better response than I'd expected."

My smile droops slightly. "It's just exciting meeting everyone is all," I lie through my teeth.

"Well, you're just about to meet the best of 'em all!" He boasts proudly with that goofy grin. "I'm Junpei Iori. Nice to meet ya. I transferred here when I was in 8th grade. I know how tough it is bein' the new kid... So I though I'd check up on you, make sure you weren't freaking out on your first day."

An exasperated sigh sounds behind us. "At it again, huh? Honestly, is there any girl you wouldn't hit on? Did you ever think you might be bothering someone?"

Junpei's eyes widen at the accusation. "What? But I was just bein' friendly."

"If you say so. Anyway, some coincidence that we'd be in the same home room, huh?"

Maybe it felt that way the first time around. But even this conversation is certainly no coincidence. Left alone, the wordings, mannerisms, timings, everything is the same as I remember it. I'm not the same though. The Minako from one year ago is nothing but a nostalgic dream now. _Do my differences hold any power..._  the thought momentarily flits across my mind.

"Mm... Beyond a coincidence by this point, but I'm just happy to have you guys here." Those are truly my honest feelings.

Yukari scrunches her face in disgust at the pointed inclusion of Junpei in my statement. "I'd be careful around this idiot if I were you." The disgust melts into a faint smile as she adds, "But I'm glad we ended up in the same class too."

"Hey! What's with that?!"

The two bicker heatedly back and forth, something that never once changed. And it never will change. It's one thing in life that can always be counted on. It's a weird way to describe it, but the action is somewhat refreshing.

It only ceases when Yukari remembers that she has club activities awaiting her attendance and she exits the scene just as fast as she had arrived. Junpei, now looking slightly exhausted, returns his attention to me.

"What is she, your nanny...? Well, just to clear something up, I seriously didn't come over here to hit on you or anything. If you ever have a problem, you can tell your ol' pal Junpei about it!"

"I trust you, Junpei. Thanks, I'll remember that."

He seems genuinely startled by my first remark. His reaction shouldn't be a surprise to me though. Not with always having been painted out to be a disappointment. Not with having his self-worth beaten down to the ground. Not with his troubled past that he had eventually welcomed me into. Also, what kind of stranger would put their trust in someone they just met?

"Heh, yeah, no prob! My door's always open. So to speak."

This time, I don't rush out of the room before anyone else has the chance to pester me. I don't make Junpei sprint to catch up to me in my hurried pace. I don't need to be persuaded for him to walk me home. Instead, Junpei and I walk together out the door, as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do. Because it was. There was only one thing missing. One very important thing. It was a boy with a flowing yellow scarf and a smile as bright as the sun.

The memories of the hand, far too warm to be death, that should be fitted so perfectly in mine and the sweet promises of an evening together threaten to burst through their locks in my mind.

No! I can't. Not right now. I can't open that door yet. It's too much right now... I cannot allow myself to slip back into despair, especially when I still don't know what to do...

"Hey man, you okay?"

Junpei drags me from my insanity, back into reality. I guess I'd stopped walking at some point.

"Oh. Yeah. Sorry. Let's keep going."

Although still in a partial daze of alternating pain and numbness, Junpei and I finally reach the dorm where we say our goodbyes for now.


	6. A Way of Life

The next day of school passes by in a blur without any real incidents. I vaguely remember Junpei's shameless, desperate plea for help and that the gossip around the school had already shifted from the new transfer student to a horror story about a first year student who stopped showing up for school. Once the bell chimes our dismissal, leaving me with no obligations left to fulfill and only a lingering weariness, I decide to retire back to the dorm.

The walk home is just as devoid of life as the rest of the day was. My thoughts focused solely on getting through the day standing. That's why, it is not until I hear that gratingly annoying laughter coming from behind the front doors to the dorm that I realize I had so foolishly forgotten who would be awaiting me tonight.

Shuji Ikutsuki.

The backstabbing bastard who had been betraying us from the very beginning. The scoundrel who doctored a false story to bait us by the nose along a misguided path. The villain who heartlessly murdered Mitsuru's father before her very eyes and yearned for the world to die. Once again, he had the nerve, the audacity, to stand before us with his fake smiles and terrible jokes as he works so hard for us to place our trust in him.

The very first time I met him, I thought that he was suspicious. He knew too much and his tone was never quite sincere. But everyone, even Mitsuru, seemed to believe his words and intentions to help so I never questioned it further. How foolish that was. We made so many mistakes and lost so much.

Realizing I had been standing outside the door far too long and that there was no way I could avoid this regretful confrontation forever, I resume my procession forward.

Yukari and Ikutsuki break off their conversation and turn to face me as they hear the door's impossibly loud cry for attention.

"Oh, she's back."

"So, this is our new guest..."

The two stand from their seats to greet me. It occurs to me that I hadn't thought through how to handle this situation in the least. That was a very bad strategy.

So rather than do anything worthwhile, I end up doing nothing but standing stiffly, something I seem to have become quite adept at lately, as Ikutsuki rambled his ridiculous speech in a futile attempt to act friendly and welcoming towards me.

"Is there anything you'd like to ask?"

"No," is the only answer I eek out, accompanied by cold, unwavering eyes.

Yukari shifts slightly, from the unexpected hostility I was either unable to or refused to contain. Ikutsuki on the other hand, didn't even bat an eye and wraps the conversation up with one of his wretched puns. I turn away as quickly as possible, with not even an utterance of a good night, and hastily ascend the stairs to return to my room.

I don't bother with the lights. No matter how much my uniform and conscience are screaming at me, I don't bother to change. I simply slam the door shut and turn the volume of my music up far too high as I make a beeline for the bed that was so soothingly whispering my name.

Although I tumbled into bed just as quickly and inelegantly as the nights before, sleep is not kind enough to overtake me. I lie face down, smothered by a pillow, in a darkness that feels far more gentle than pure whiteness ever could, with music blaring roughly against my eardrums in the hopes of blocking out the world.

But no matter how hard I may try, how hard I may wish, how hard I may hope, the dilemma of the day, the encounter, the past, and the future continue to weigh so heavily upon my shoulders that it feels as though it is crushing me.

What could I have done in the Ikutsuki situation though? What I wanted to do was punch him with all of my might and call him out right there and then for all of his deceptions. But who is the one who would be trusted in the situation? The man who has been with the Kirijo group for years. Or the accidental new girl who knows far too much. No one would believe my story. What is the point?

_I tried hard but where did we go wrong?  
I hope we could... But I won't start over again._

I shoot up from my hopeless trance on the bed as the most ironic words ring through my ears. After a moment of trying to register it's meaning, a hysterical laughter bursts from my previously downturned lips.

If somebody were to have walked by, they would have undeniably thought that I'd finally cracked. Perhaps I really have, especially with how up and down I've been. But it felt so reinvigorating. I laughed so hard that I had to rub away tears that formed in my eyes and I could feel an aching pain in my stomach.

It's unbelievable. We did try so hard. We did make many mistakes. I did hope that the consequences were a lie. But I _have_ started over again.

I've been so selfish this whole time... Thinking _I don't want to repeat this. I don't want to be alone. I'm afraid of failure and rejection. The repercussions of change could potentially make things worse._ I merely created excuses to keep myself in my bubble of stagnation and depression.

But there are so many possibilities. Shinji, Mitsuru's father, Chidori, Ryoji... What if I could change fate?

How could I have not seen this before?! I'm so stupid! The Fool is truly the most befitting title for me. I have to _try_. I have to _fight_. For my friends. For those who were left behind. And for the world. What kind of a friend and leader would I be otherwise.

I yank my temporarily pristine calendar off of the wall and practically fall face first off the bed as I try to scurry to my desk. I snatch the most vibrant red pen I own out of my school bag, switch on the desk lamp, and ready myself for the next course of action.

It's vital that I mark down and remember every last important occurrence that I can. If I don't, if I mess up, it could mean the difference between life and death.

I take in a deep breath. No matter how painful the memories, I must persevere. That way, maybe the pain can be replaced with warmth.

It starts off easily, circling nights with a full moon which had even already been handily noted by the calendar. But having to recall the nights of tragedies and the fleeting moments of happiness that I had shamefully locked away was just as arduous as expected. I'm unable to hold back the tears knocking at my eyelids, but it does not deter my progress.

My endeavor to sort through my scrambled, screwed up head causes me to become oblivious of the rapid passing of time. It was very nearly the Dark Hour by the time I finally lay the pen down to admire my pain-staking work.

The calendar is now coated with pen. Letters, words, even doodles are scattered on every page, their meaning only fully understandable to me.

_..._  
_Oct 4 (F/S full moon)- S Mom._  
...  
_Nov 4 - Stripes L. S Red's dad._  
...  
_Nov 9 - Dearest C._  
...  
_Nov 22 - S Loli._  
...  
_Dec 2 (full moon) - Dearest bridge._  
...  
_Dec 25 - no b lone. (That was a jab for what happened last time)_  
...  
_Dec 31 (full moon) - NY eve._  
...  
_Jan 31 (full moon) - (only a dark doodle)._  
...  
_March 5 - Grad, the end._

I got carried away with names and drawings but it helped make things easier on myself and if God forbid anyone would see it, maybe I could pass the mess off as some sort of game?

While it is logistically impossible for me to remember what I did everyday, who I hung out with when or activities I did, I think, I hope, that this will all be okay. The point is to make a difference, not to relive the same life over anyways.

I will save _everyone_.

Letting out a relieved sigh, I rest my weary head against my arms on the cold desk and fall into a deep sleep just as the clock strikes midnight and the world is bathed in the ghostly light of the moon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little did Minako know that they were observing her that night... Lucky for her though, it was sometime after she had that hysterical outbreak. Although they were definitely curious about what she was working so diligently on and were super on edge when it was about to be the Dark Hour. 
> 
> I really hope I got those dates right too.


End file.
